The Assange Case: Sex with Lawyers

Excerpt from Sex with Lawyers... a very accurate post on the Assange Swedish's rape case... full refresher accurately worked from the Sweden Legal Protocols. Travel here for the full post

What happens if there really isn’t a season ticket?

This really is a serious question – even if the way I will explain it might be mistaken for humour.
It is actually a valid question.

If there is never a season ticket, then it’s a global rule. It can’t be taken out a la carte.
It applies to YOU as well, every time, forever – not just to other people.

Guys!

You are with this woman. Let’s call her Louise.
You could have been married to her for years – or you could have met her yesterday. It’s doesn’t matter.

You have an evening of passion, followed by a night of passion.
Next morning, you have more passion.
They you both drift off to sleep.

You wake up.
You’re feeling frisky.
There she is – gorgeous and naked – the woman who has been happily bonking with you for hours.

You want to re initiate the bonking.
STOP!!!!

She is asleep – as in “incapable of valid consent, such as a person who is unconscious or incapacitated”.

So wake her up then.
Yes but how?

You can’t shake her. That could be construed as violence and coercion.
You can’t sort of poke at her (with your hand I mean). That’s an assault.
You can’t snuggle up to her
You can’t do any stroking  - of anywhere , never mind any naughty bits. That’s getting sexual.
Don’t even think of running your fingers lightly up her thigh and maybe just past near you know what and maybe up to the side of her breast. That’s absolutely sexual assault.

You think that maybe on one of those strokes as your fingers are drifting past you know what, that one of them might just kinda slip in there for a second? Don’t even think about it. That’s rape.
“Physically forced or otherwise coerced penetration – even if slight – of the vulva or anus, using a penis, other body parts or an object.” See? Finger comes under “other body parts”

You could try clearing your throat loudly – or coughing.
You might consider getting out of bed and coming back with a cup of tea or coffee for her – and doing that very noisily.
Your problem there might be that you got a massive erection that is painful, and at this stage you are curled up in a foetal position.

You could try ringing her!
Or maybe text her - but very careful about the content. Keep it very neutral. "Hi there" or something. Innocent text messages are ok. Sex messages/massages are not.

When she eventually wakes up and asks you why you are rolled up in a ball and banging your had on the bedpost, you still have to be very careful.
You can’t just go into lovemaking mode. You have to negotiate. Plus – you have to negotiate carefully.
Any suggestion of bonking being in the program of events simply because you had been bonking earlier should be avoided. Such could be construed as coercion – trying to make her feel guilty - forcing her to submit to your depredations.
One might imagine John Cleese in this situation. It’s all frightfully amusing. “Don’t talk about the war”.

Additionally, you can’t be sure that she’s really fully awake. If she’s only half awake, she is probably asleep for legal purposes. You have to hold back, even if it appears that she has started begging.

If there is no season ticket, then I’ve been raped quite a number of times – and very nice it was too,
I have also perpetrated quite a number of assaults of varying seriousness.
So far I’ve been lucky. The victims have not complained.